The Long and Winding Road

Last night I showed up for praise team practice a few minutes early and walked in on the choir finishing rehearsal. They were working on Blessed Assurance, which is one of those golden oldies from church hymnal days. Regardless of your church background growing up, you likely heard and/or sang that song on more than one occasion. And I thought what my friend Christine, the choir director, said before the final run through of the evening was particularly touching.

"I think this song is exactly what this congregation needs to hear right now," she began. "I know the message is in your hearts. You know that Jesus is your assurance. But we need to send that message to the people who will be out here. They need to know that the world can go crazy around us but that Jesus is our blessed assurance. He's all we need."

I agree with Christine, whole heartedly. Yet what I've been getting in touch with recently (to quote my psychologist father) is the amazing sense of peace that comes from yielding total control to God. Time and again with this book of mine, I've had to give up all my wishes and wants and just let things rest in God's hands. Not that I sat back, inactive. I've been working harder at writing than I've ever worked in my life, but it's amazing to me how easy writing has become in return because I'm letting God drive.

In theory, I should, like the rest of my fellow Americans, be in panic mode over the state of our current economic and political conditions, especially since when I literally cleared my calendar for God back in February to concentrate on writing my book, I gave up my main reliable source of income. It required a big leap of faith to pursue this new path, in particular because I dragged my husband and my kids right along with me. It's been challenging for us to maintain things without my income that used to pay for a number of living expenses that still exist even though my check does not. Yet I am trusting that God is going to see us through this because I know I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing with my gift of writing. I don't know, detail-wise, how this is all going to unfold, but already new doors are opening up. I do know, God will provide.

So when my publication date got moved up to December from April, I said, "Thank you, God! I trusted in you to show me the way and you are." And when Judson asked me to partner on a second book before the first even went to the printer, I said, "Thank you, God! Of course I'll keep working for you." And today, when Judson's marketing director emailed to say that Lifeway Christian Stores will feature The Complete Leader's Guide to Christian Retreats as one of their "recommended reads" in all their stores for January/February/March, I said, "Thank you, God! Your love is amazing, steady and unchanging. Your love is a mountain, firm beneath my feet." (Well, actually Brenton Brown and Brian Doerksen said that in Hallelujah! Your Love Is Amazing).

I am in awe that I can be filled with such a sense of peace, which is seemingly at odds with the total loss of control that I am experiencing, not only in my writing but in our currently topsy turvy world. But that's a good thing...a God-thing...a blessed assurance on this long and winding road. Amen. Let it be.